Dear Julie,

You won't believe this, but my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.

My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head, but my stomach tells me to write to you instead.

Signed,
Noise-Maker
 

Dear Noise-Maker,

You won’t believe THIS, but for many years when I would kiss my then-boyfriend, my nose would run.

I swear to God. Who could make this up? 

I have no idea what would cause this, but thankfully he had a good sense of humor and we laughed about it through the Kleenex.

So I absolutely believe that your stomach makes noises when you kiss your girlfriend.

Is it because you’re nervous? Or excited? I get really burpy sometimes before I go on stage.

Or do you just need a snack?

If your stomach is telling you to write to me, I believe the answer lies in a nice piece of chicken, or maybe some warm bread with butter and cheese?

No salad. Nothing gassy. 

You’re a mensch to write in.

May a noisy tummy be the worst thing in your relationship.

Yours With Love and a Sudden Craving for a Nice Piece of Chicken,
Julie 

Need some advice? Submit your anonymous questions for Julie here.